=================DINNER PARTY===============
References
+ Cartoon Planet
- Binky Boodle sounds similar to Minkey Boodle, a sketch in Cartoon Planet.
+ Pinocchio
- Franklin's nose grows longer when he lies, just like Pinnochio.
Did you notice: Zorak is not in this episode.
(Brak, Mom and Dad are in the kitchen.)
Mom: All right, boys, are you ready to go?
Brak: I'm ready, Mom.
Dad: I'm ready not to go.
Mom: Well, you're going. I told the new neighbors we were coming to their party and that's exactly what we're going to do.
Dad: Mother, people only invite you to dinner for three reasons: To sell you vitamins, to drug you and take unpleasant snapshots, or to convert you to their hideous farming religion.
Mom: Oh rubbish.
Dad: No, mother, this is serious business. They make you take an animal wife!
Mom: You are going to get your bun off that chair, put on your walking hat, and come to the party, is that clear?
Dad: All right, but I'm not kissing any animals on the lips.
Brak: Me, neither.
Mom: Fair enough, off we go, then.
(They're standing on the front door of the house.)
Mom: Now, you're both to be at your best behavior tonight.
Brak: Mom, as long as they have Atari, Brak'll be just fine. 'Cause Brak loves Atari!
Dad: They probably don't even have toilets.
Mom: Of course they do.
Dad: Then, I'm sure they flush upwards, spraying bottom-devouring spiders on you, won't that be a treat?
Mom: You're going to be charming, no matter what happens. And you will keep your peculiar theories and philosophies of life to yourself.
Dad: But that's what I bring to the table, mother. Don't you want to expose them to the full Dad treatment?
Mom: They don't want the full Dad treatment. No one does. Now smiles on, everyone, I'm ringing the doorbell. (she does.)
Franklin: Come in.
(They do.)
Franklin: You must be the dinner....guests. Dinner guests. I really should have put those two words closer together. Let me introduce myself. I'm Franklin.
Mom: Well, it's very nice to meet you, Franklin. I'm Mom.
Dad: I'm Dad.
Brak: And I'm Bruno! (speaks Russian?)
Mom: Actually, that's our son, Brak.
Franklin: Ah, Brak. Our son, Winston, is very excited to meet you...greet you. I didn't say 'eat', did I? Because that's exactly what I shouldn't have said.
Mom: Um, honey, why don't you run along and play with Winston.
Brak: OK, where's he stay at?
Franklin: At the bottom of the stairs, you can't miss it.
(Brak walks away.)
Franklin: However, if you do, you'll fall through the trap door and die.
Dad: You have a trap door?
Franklin: Of course not. (his nose grows larger.)
Dad: But you just said...
Franklin: No I didn't. (his nose grows larger.)
Dad: Mother, did you hear what he...
Mom: Franklin, I've love what you've done with the house.
Dad: Hmmm, Say, Franklin, have you noticed your name starts with an F? (pause) I have a theory about men with F names.
Mom: You are not going to present your F name theory.
Dad: Oh, but I'm sure Franklin's interested, aren'r you Ffffranklin?
Mom:(whispers to Dad): If you continue with this, there will be consequences.
Dad: I see. Say there, Fffffranklin, that's quite a lovely pair of hands you have. The hands, I would think of a coin collector or perhaps a lotion enthusiast. Huh? Am I right?
Franklin: On occasion, yes.
Dad: There. Was that charming enough for you, mother?
Mom: Very nice, dear. Why don't I go see if I could help your wife with dinner?
Franklin: Oh, yes, she's in the dining room, setting the table.
Mom: I'm so anxious to meet her.
(She walks off. Pause.)
Dad: OK.
(pause)
Dad: So, Franklin...
(Franklin laughs.)
Dad: What are you laughing at?
Franklin: I wasn't laughing. (his nose grows bigger.) I have no memory of laughing. (his nose grows bigger.)
Dad: Well, you just did.
Franklin: I think I'd know if I laughed. Here, let me show you the house.
Dad: OK, that would be...
(Franklin laughs)
Dad: There, you did it again! Just then!
Franklin: Did what?
(Brak and Winston are in the basement. Winston is a big fat baby with a tattoo on his right arm and has on a very big diaper. He speaks like a trucker.)
Brak: Hey, Winston, How come you don't have any toys? All you've got is condiments.
Winston: I use them when I have people over to eat. It makes them tastier to my mouth. (he laughs. Brak sort of does.)
Brak: Yeah, that's a good one.
Winston: Hey, why don't you go pick up that knife and stab yourself a few times?
Brak: What?
Winston: I'd do it myself, but my heart's so puny it can't pump enough juice to get my legs to workin'.
Brak: I know, why don't we play a game or something. Wouldn't that be fun?
Winston: Oh, yeah, that would. How 'bout you play you bang your head on that wall and crawl back over to me?
Brak: That doesn't sound like fun at all.
Winston: Uh-huh. It's fun to me, 'cause I eat you. Hee hee hee, fun for Winston.
Brak: One more remark like that and I am leaving!
Winston: Oh, don't go, don't go. Winston lonely! We play a game, just like Brak said. Then I eat you.
Brak: Winston!
Winston: I'm just joking.
(Cut to Mom and Rhonda in the dining room. Rhonda is in a metal box.)
Mom: Well, Rhonda, I think the table's quite squared away.
Rhonda: I am Rhonda, from the 7th level of Yar!
Mom: Yes, you've mentioned that quite a few times. Say, is there anything I can do to help in the kitchen?
Rhonda: No, the food has been arranged.
Mom: Oh, splendid. Well then, I suppose we should join...
Rhonda: The day of judgement is at hand.
Mom: All, right, If you say so.
Rhonda: You will be judged! So sayeth the scribes of Yar.
Mom: You know, Rhonda, I'm not even sure if I know where Yar is.
Rhonda: You'll find out when your skull is devoured and belched forth onto the shore of the river of heads.
Mom: Oh, dear.
Rhonda: The river of heads is in Yar. This I can assure you. (laughs evilly. The doorbell rings.)
Mom: Oh, I'll get it.
(Cut to Thundercleese in the entry.)
Thundercleese: I let myself in. Was that rude?
Mom: No, I think it's quite all right.
Thundercleese: Good. This is my first dinner party. I want to make a good impression. I have installed a social interaction program to supress my war-like tendencies in favor of an entertaining party persona. I will demonstrate.
(His eyes turn blue.)
Thundercleese: Was today's increase of thermal unites agreeable to your carbon-based cell structure?
Mom: Actually, it was a bit warm for my fancy.
Thundercleese: Then might I suggest we acquire frigid, intoxicating liquids to lower our core temepratures? (pause) How about I scare us up a couple of cold ones, baby?
Mom: Excellent idea, Thunderclese. Let's join the others.
(Dad, Mom, Franklin and Thundercleese are seated at the table.)
Franklin: It's so nice to have you all here as dinner...for dinner. I've never seen such a delicious group.
Dad: Delicious?
Franklin: Meaning, of course, that we're all delicious people, aren't we? On the inside? Where the meat is?
Thundercleese: Speaking of delicious, when do we get to meet this hot wife of yours?
Franklin: I think that's her now.
(Rhonda, still in her box, hops in.)
Rhonda (angrilly): Why is there a robot at my table?
Franklin: Well, how was I supposed to know he was a robot?
Rhonda: You will be judged harshly for your incompetance.
Franklin: Yes, yes, I know.
Dad: Say, Ffffranklin, I have to ask you something.
Mom: No, you don't.
Dad: Yes, really, I do. Fffranklin. Why is your wife in a steel box?
Mom: Rhonda, I?m sorry, he has no business asking...
Franklin: (laughs)
Mom: I?m sorry, did I say something funny?
Dad: It doesn?t have to be funny. Watch this. My cat got run over by a bus today.
Franklin: Oh, I?m, I?m sorry to hear that.
Dad: Aren?t you gonna laugh?
Franklin: Why would I laugh at a dead cat?
Rhonda: You think your cat has escaped judgement to death? Fool! Even the dead will be judged.
Franklin: (laughs)
Thundercleese: Why were you laughing?
Franklin: I wasn't laughing. (his nose grows bigger.)
Thundercleese: Of course, you were.
Rhonda: Silence, automoton. You are an undesired guest.
(pause.)
Thundercleese: A robot walks into a bar with a duck in one hand and a plasma can in the other. When the bartender says "We don?t serve ducks here", the duck replies "Fine. My robot isn?t thirsty." Ha ha! Thirsy.
Rhonda: You are unfunny, and your judgement will reflect it.
Thundercleese: You just did not get it!
Rhonda: There was nothing to get! So sayeth Rhonda, from the 7th level of Yar!
Mom: Here we go again.
(Franklin laughs.)
Dad: Hey, mother, I dare you to stick your hand in the box.
Mom: I will not. Stick your own hand in there.
Rhonda: Yes, come to the box. Rhonda will suck your heart out!
Mom: I say, is anyone going to drink that wine?
Thundercleese: What's up with the cost of movies these days? I had to secure a bank loan to purchase a box of hardened licorice product. And what's up with those anyway? You bit one and it sticks to your teeth the whole movie! And I don't even have teeth, but it still upsets me! (he laughs a lot.)
(Cut to Brak and Winston in the basement. Brak has a cowboy hat and a diaper on and Winston has a green hat with a red star on.)
Brak: The jig is up, Comrade Poopoff! I'm here to bring you in for the crimes you have done.
Winston: You've got me, Binky Doodle, Baby Detective. How did you ever escape my super diddly bear pit?
Brak: My diaper is loaded with secrets, Poopoff. Your simple Russian brain will never wipe away the sweet smell of freedom!
Winston: I surrender my country to you, Binky. You my hero.
Brak: And that's a wrap. Man, if we had a camera, that would have been the best movie ever.
(Winston starts crying.)
Brak: What's the matter, Winston, didn't you like the ending?
Winston: No, it was good.
Brak: Well, is your beard bothering ya? 'Cause uou can take it off for the wrap party.
Winston: I'm afraid there won't be a wrap party when you find out my mom and daddy had ate your mom and daddy.
Brak: What? Oh no!
Winston: See? I knew you won't gonna like it. (he cries.)
Brak: Mommy! Daddy! Aaah! (he zooms off and his hat falls off. Cut to the dining room with only Thundercleese, Franklin and Rhonda. Brak zooms in.)
Brak: Aah! They're gone! It's too late! You've already eaten my mommy and Dad!
Dad: We're OK, son. I'm just checkin' out the inside of this box.
Mom: (drunk) Mother needs another drinkity winkity. (hiccup. She falls.) Ooh!
Brak: But Winston just told me that his mom and dad were gonna eat you guys.
Dad: (jumps out of Rhonda's box.) Ffffranklin, is there any truth to this story?
Franklin: I'm afraid so, Dad. You see, Rhonda and I realized one day that our lives had become rather drab.
Rhonda: Very predictable!
Franklin: We tried some things. Moved around, joined clubs.
Rhonda; None of it worked! It was all bad!
Franklin: And finally, Winston suggested that we try eating people.
Rhonda: Winston is a genius!
Franklin: Yes, he's been fascinated by cannibalism ever since he was a baby.
Rhonda: His delivery ruined my body!
Dad: Well, I don't know, Rhonda, you look pretty good to me. You really fill that box out.
Mom: (still drunk): Hey, there, little shorty. (hiccup) You've got all the woman you'll need right here. (she falls.)
Thundercleese: Speaking of shorties, would anyone like to smoke some illegal narcotics?
Brak: Huh?
(Thundercleese pauses and starts playing accordion music.)
Thundercleese: Come lucky fellows and follow the sea, with a yo, ho, blow the man down.
Brak: Now pay close attention and listen to me. I'm wearin' a diaper and I love it!
Franklin: Aboard the ??? I first served my time (laughs) and blow the man down.
Rhonda: I am Rhonda, from the 7th level of Yar. The sea will run rampant and part on your neck! Blow the man down!
Dad: 'Till larboard and starboard on deck you wil crawl. This is the best freaking dinner party ever!
Brak: Hee hee hee.
Dad: Tomorrow we party at my house.
(Cut to Winston, Dad, Thundercleese, Brak, Franklin and Rhonda, and Mom sitting around Brak's den doing nothing. The credits roll.)
Dad: Whose idea was this?